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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?